The Dickwaffle Quarterly

Image of an American flag burning, with flames consuming the fabric against a dark background.

Posts

Lorem ipsum my fuckin’ ass. Latin placeholders got some sass. Pardon my profanity, my lawful dickwaffle. I wrote this for my sanity, ’cause I like awful falafel.

  • Incite Me, Daddy: How to Plan a Revolution Without Catching a Felony

    Incite Me, Daddy: How to Plan a Revolution Without Catching a Felony

    ⚠️ Excerpt from later in Part 1 of my book. It’s like skipping to the sex scene in a legal romance novel. You’re welcome. The Brandenburg Test Clarence Brandenburg was the leader of an Ohio chapter of the Ku Klux Klan. This human diaper rash invited reporters and cameramen to attend a Klan rally, where…

  • So What’s the Point? Part 3 of 3 – Schrödinger’s Cat, Agent Dickface, and the Xanax of Free Speech

    So What’s the Point? Part 3 of 3 – Schrödinger’s Cat, Agent Dickface, and the Xanax of Free Speech

    ⚠️ This is Part 3 of the trilogy intro to my book. Confused as hell? Thought so.Catch up first: Part 1 | Part 2(Before you say something arrest-worthy without context.) Schrödinger’s Protection Principle In 1935, Erwin Schrödinger proposed the now-famous-but-oft-misunderstood Schrödinger’s Cat thought experiment: A cat is placed in a sealed box. The popular misconception…

  • So What’s the Point? Part 2 of 3 – How to Use Loopholes to Yell Stupid Shit

    So What’s the Point? Part 2 of 3 – How to Use Loopholes to Yell Stupid Shit

    ⚠️ This is Part 2 of 3 of my book’s motherfucking intro. If you missed Part 1, haul your lazy ass to the goddamn link above unless you want to yell “fuck” at a cop with zero legal context. (Good luck with that.) Dodging Government Restrictions on Speech and Expression However, it would be on…

  • So What’s the Point? Part 1 of 3 – Why Free Speech Needs Context and Pest Control

    So What’s the Point? Part 1 of 3 – Why Free Speech Needs Context and Pest Control

    Disclaimer: All examples herein are rhetorical, legal hypotheticals used to explore the boundaries of First Amendment law. No threats are being made. I have better things to do than go to jail for being misunderstood by Agent Dickface. Introduction 1. This Isn’t a Threat; It’s Just a Book To all law enforcement entities: Please be…